Knowing that there would most likely be an abundance of available information about Michael Vick and the recent media firestorm engulfing his situation, it seemed rather logical to search for related blogs. The three blogs I have linked, in the blog roll to the left, were not necessarily the most informative or useful, rather I felt these blogs were all representative of different stances on the dog fighting charges Vick has plead guilty to. Also, they were all posted within the last month or so.
Blog #1 (Hotblondemilf/Fox Sports)
Opinionated? Yes...
Passionate? Certainly...
Constructive? Not really...
As if the title of the blog wasn't indication enough, this blog was quite childish. Denoted by accusations, juvenile name calling and a demand for castration convey the feeling that this blog is more of a rant than a casual, written criticism. The anonymity of the Internet really seems to encourage people to say what they want.
While I don't disagree with some of the points raised by the author, particularly about dog fighting being a sick crime, the majority of the opinions given have no coherent flow of thought. Mentions of racism, disapproval of the Atlanta Falcons, and the inner workings of Vick's eventual jail stay, as described by the author, all nullify credibility.
Upon first glance the format appears to be standard, but there are several instances of bad grammar and incorrectly spelled words.
Blog #2 (Sarah Whitman/PEEK)
In comparison, this is a much more constructive, thoughtful blog. This blog, written by a woman named Sarah Whitman, takes an alternate approach in examining the Michael Vick case. Rather than condemning the cruel actions performed against dogs, she uses dog fighting as a platform to make light of the apparent blind eye that the NFL and the public posses in regards to domestic/spousal abuse.
I felt that this post was very well written structurally, grammatically, and in premise. I welcome varying viewpoints and I thought that Ms. Whitman, who has been published before, helped to make known a different awareness. I had had not yet stopped and thought about the points she made. Why is it publicly accepted when a professional athlete commits an act of violence against a loved one, which seems to be happening with a greater frequency, yet this debacle is drawing attention and condemnation from all reaches of the country? I felt like I was reading a professional editorial.
Blog #3 (Sylvia Richardson/FanNation)
This blog seemed as if it were written in defense of Michael Vick. The author Sylvia Richardson, acknowledges the crimes brought against Michael Vick, but rather than condemning him, Richardson calls for forgiveness. Citing religious morals, Richardson deems that we are not fit to judge.
Then, as if speaking to Vick himself, Sylvia concludes her concise blog by suggesting that Vick not attempt any sort of return to the athlete/celebrity life later on down the road, rather seek a normality outside the scrutiny of television cameras and the like.
The format in which this blog was written was what I have come to understand as standard, in that there were no graphics, it was three to four paragraphs in length, and contained several line breaks with no real spacing in between the lines of text. In addition, she used spell check.
Furthermore, there was a noticeable comment bank situated right underneath her post, composed of a few negative suggestions and remarks. Without resorting to underhanded tactics, Richardson defended her points and addressed the concerns of her commentators with poise and rationality. I thought this was favorable in light of the first blog’s immature mannerisms.
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3 comments:
Excellent work on your reviews here, Brandon; very thoughtful and intelligent commentary. You've chosen a dangerous road, writing in a rather high style and assuming the position of a critic. I applaud you for this, but I want to warn you that you'll be held to your own high standards, which means you need to keep your own writing clear and free of errors, or you'll lose all credibility. Toward that end, here are some things to fix:
Spelling: "blonde" in "hotblodnemilf"; "possess" not "posses"
Word use: check "denoted," "credence," "preponderance," "implementations" — you're using them incorrectly, so the sentences become unclear.
phrases: "by comparison" (not "virtue of comparison"); "reading between the lines lends itself to bad grammar" ("reading between the lines" refers to subtext or implied meaning, not surface stuff like grammar; "lending itself to bad grammar" literally means it causes or promotes bad grammar).
typos: "had had not yet stopped"
sentence structure: "the author of the blog, Sylvia Richardson" (don't separate the subject from its prepositional phrase); "used spell check, too" (needs comma).
The writing style you've adopted really requires a firm grasp of language and grammar, which I know you know. Beware of overloading your sentences with extra/incorrect words; too much and your writing will start to sound like gibberish. Complexity is not always the highest value in a sentence; clarity should always be the priority.
I'm looking forward to reading more of your work; it's got a lot of personality and thought behind it.
Maybe you would prefer I re edit my blog for your consumption ? Unfortunately for me personally Michael Vick is not worth the effort.
As a football fan, rather than an American football fan, I would rather spend time on those posts, than Mr Vick.
If you wish to critic my style, maybe you should choose a proofed soccer story, rather than an unedited story in which the edit feature on Fox was broken !
As for the content, it is very simple, far too verbose i agree, it can be summed up quickly, Michael vick is scum, end of story.
Layni
It's really too bad about Vick. He's a great football player. I wanted
to check and see some more information about dog fighting and how to help. I came across this site by the (http://www.hsus.org/hsus_field/animal_fighting_the_final_round/dogfighting_fact_sheet)
Humane Society which included a fact sheet about dog fighting.
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